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HipnikDragomir

203 Movie Reviews

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Alright, here's the deal.

With your cartoons, after the first one or two I've seen, they all seem to run a similar route of "lol funny" disfigured caricatures of cartoons in very inappropriate dialogue. As such, the first 30 or so seconds of this I was pretty underwhelmed. Same gross-out factor designs and tongue-in-cheek voices and script. Shortly after, the whole thing took off thanks to the script. What you actually wrote here for Yami is really funny for some reason thanks in part to his grave delivery of it all. The joke trap card especially was very sneaky and well played (eh HEH HEH). With subsequent views, this cartoon gets funnier each time. I'm not going to tell you how to make your cartoons, but I would pay extra attention to the dialogue like you did here to really suck us into it unlike other generic face-value "lOoK aT tHeSe WaCkY cHaRaCtErS" poops other people make.

Just a note: between the intro and credits, the animation plays twice. I assume it's an error.

AguRex responds:

Yeah... it was intentional. Sorry

Just a real quick review. I liked pretty much everything about this, especially the loose, self-aware comedic approach and shitty narrator audio quality. The only things I didn't like (which will sound strange to bring up) are the rock having its little episode (I've seen similar things before and it just isn't funny) and the final joke/twist of the phone being the narrator. It wasn't funny because it didn't lead to a final joke (not counting the post-credits scene). It leaves you with, "Yes, and?".

The overall thing is fun and all, and I get the satire part of it, but Disney is way more adept at killing franchises than "Japanese business men". So that part of them not wanting to sell it off to Disney makes no sense as a criticism.

As I live and breathe, it's Jerry Jackson. Same as it ever was.

Well, to be blunt, it's a cringefest of 2010 Internet. The visuals are okay, but looping the same few seconds over and over for a "music video" like this doesn't work. It's just not even close to being finished. Take another couple weeks to work on this and add more visuals. It's a decent foundation.

It's... something

As a gag or a scientist being trapped in a rocket and going through some fun imagery, I like it. I'm also biased and enjoy the classic Flash cartoon style and animation of yore, even though it's technically "bad". I don't mind using Goku's hair as long as there's SOME purpose or joke behind it, but you haven't given us anything in the cartoon, so it just feels out of place. The astronaut's face pisses me off, but it would've helped to animate multiple expressions to add some substance. With the rocket's sfx, what you could've done to balance it out was muffling it when the camera view is outside. It makes sense since there's no sound in space and being inside and having it loud would help the immersion. The general sfx in the beginning would've been better if you just had a microphone and simulated what was happening for a more organic sound rather than copy-pasting the same sounds over and over again. And please study colours to choose a better palette. I mentioned earlier that I have a soft spot for this style, but it isn't very pretty to look at.

grimview responds:

Thank you. Since you asked, there's a famous picture of Einstein (scientist) with his hair a mess (like Goku) & his tongue sticking out.
I surprised you can see the astronaut's face (well maybe at the end).The scientist mouth expression were designed to be reused on the other charters, including the astronaut. So quick change is accepted (Literally a number change). I didn't like the smile either, so its good that I added the tongue to Einstein's smile. I did have multi expressions for Einstein & in a few frames switched between them like air gasping.
I didn't consider no sound in space, as starwars films have lied to me by having engine sounds both in space & on planets. Damn you Lucas! Change rejected. Blame George Lucas.
The reason I copied & the begin sound frames was to build curiosity as to what that banging was & hopefully get a laugh from seeing scientist using wrench to beat an engine with sparks shooting out.
Do share a good link to learn colors. From my technical writing course we learned to pop colors by contrasting them. This often why villains are purple to stand out in comics. I contrasted the dark shadows with red glow from the engine. However, the engine isn't the main character (its the villain, kind of). With Einstein, I was stuck with the human colors so that leave the inside back ground to change, ... perhaps green inside would help pop the other colors. Green does make the fire pop but loses the darkness.
Try playing it now.

Most of these "jokes" are what come up during a first pass of "I wanna make a parody, what do I do?". Really tired, pretentious and overdone by many people. Should've taken more time on the writing stage to figure out something that's actually funny, clever and more unique. Art style is passable. The best thing was the voice actors. Keep trying.

It'd be great to see this fully done. The YYH take is great. Also work on their run cycles.

I was ready to blam, but boy this quickly picked up in quality thanks to the writing and shitty voice acting. Old-fashioned flash cartoon at its finest. Good stuff.

My mom says I'm handsome.

Michalis Nicolaou @HipnikDragomir

Age 30, Male

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Joined on 12/2/07

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